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Close Quarters Bring New Realizations About Our Partners

Heidi and Pete Parker striking a pose in front of their puzzle table.
Close Quarters Bring New Realizations About Our Partners
“Now that Cassie has licked her cancer and her sense of humor has returned just in time, now more than ever I so appreciate her company.” ~Steve Funk

Yes, many of us are trapped at home — and we’re spending the kind of time with our families that we probably never have before. While that can be challenging, it also gives us a chance to learn surprising things about the people we love.

We reached out to our Facebook friends to ask them what they’ve learned about their partners during this crisis.  

  • Heidi Parker: “Pete can rock a beard. Who knew?! We also make a great team, but I already knew that. We’re currently using teamwork on our latest 1,500-piece puzzle.”
  • Jane Grossman: “My partner Brad is the most vigilant and careful person I know. Although I want to rebel sometimes, his vigilance, if I don't veer off course, will probably keep us alive and well. I'm grateful!”
  • Connie Wray-Gaudard: “I always knew my husband was a positive motivator, but I seem to understand even more than before how much that truly keeps our family together.”
  • Maria Partridge: “He has a collection of old albums and 45s that I have NEVER heard, and he is playing them for me one by one. It’s amazing.”
  • Ann Wilson Nelson: “Dementia can actually be a silver lining. My husband (who suffered a TBI sometime back) has no idea that we’re sheltering at home, that our daughters have been exposed and so are under quarantine, that our daughter’s wedding has been cancelled or that there’s any issue with our toilet paper supplies. He walks our dogs every morning and comes home to tell me how gorgeous the day is, that the plants in the cow pasture are starting to bud up and that he saw the red tail hawk today. It’s a perspective I need to keep seeing, and he helps with that.”
  • Julie Malkin-Manning: “Not a new revelation, but a huge reinforcement — my awesome spouse is an incredibly dedicated educator. He has gone far above what is 'required' of him, throwing incredible energy into creative and engaging lesson plans and virtual class sessions (including videos with costumed special guests) to ensure his high school students can take as much as they are able. I'm so proud.”
  • Carol Infranca: “My hubby is writing me love letters! I think it's because I've been producing elaborate, really tasty meals several times a day. We play a game for dinner. He goes out to the freezer in the garage (where food often goes to die) and selects a protein. I create a meal around it. We've been staying in for three weeks now. I've only had one meal that we wouldn't do over. Don't ask.”

Read: Taking Pen to Paper

  • Lynn Blackhart: “My husband has been great with making breakfast most mornings and helping with dinner! I think he sees how much goes into dealing with the house when he is at work. Also, he encourages me to do the exercise program I created for us in the beginning of all of this!”
  • Robert Charpentier: “This is not a new discovery for me, but it's more obvious than ever that the one quality that NEVER gets old in a spouse is that they totally have their sh*@ together. I'm very fortunate in that respect.”
  • Amy Dewitt-Smith: “My husband is our family’s rock! He is all of our routines and comforting continuity, yet I love that he’s open to my influence when I want to have an all-day movie-watching marathon or cocktails at noon!”
  • Jan Mackenzie: “I am even more grateful that The Man of My Dreams is a wonderfully domestic creature — truth be told, more domestic than I. But during this shutdown, he has patiently showed me how to use the washer, dryer, vacuum, how to properly load the dishwasher. I’m usually too busy flying in and out of the house, working unpredictable hours. We have settled into a nice routine together.”
  • Jennifer Evans: “I appreciate my husband's calm, which is an appreciated steadying influence during this crazy time.”
  • Steve Funk: “Now that Cassie has licked her cancer and her sense of humor has returned just in time, now more than ever I so appreciate her company.”
  • Emily Skyle-Golden: “That my husband sings when he's working. I knew he was a whistler, but never knew just how much he sings — and it's lovely.”
  • Kate Carter: “I have learned that I am married to the RIGHT man. I still enjoy spending time with him, he still makes me laugh and I don't want to kill him. Sean is a keeper!”
  • Hope Davis: “I have noticed my children and partner are quite resilient — much more than I have given them credit for.”
  • Joy Viselli: “’Are you tired of being alone with just me in the desert?’ he asks so tenderly. ‘Honeypie, we have been alone together in so many deserts through the years, and we just keep going back for more.’ Everything we do is another adventure. As we look around, we see beauty. And he is so caring.”

Related: Positive Resources in the Time of Coronavirus

These answers were gathered a few weeks after the pandemic lockdown began. It will be interesting to revisit this question in a few more weeks to see what else we learn. In the meantime, stay safe and loving for your family and friends. And don’t forget to take care of yourself!

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